Pretty Lies Still Taste Bitter
by LoserxLoser
Summary: Karma liked to pretend he had a happy childhood. The truth? It was anything but. Part One of an AU which stars Karma as the annoying little brother, Gakushuu as the slightly protective and slightly jerkish big brother, Gakuhou as World's Worst Dad that (maybe) gets better, Karma's Mom as Gakushuu's Mom, AND Gakushuu's Mom as Karma's Mom. (Cross-posted on a03 under same username)


Karma liked to pretend he had a happy childhood. When questioned what his home life was like, he would ramble on and on about family dinners, annual vacations, and holidays filled with laughter. He described his parents as eccentric, and would laughingly joke that he inherited their strange tastes. Karma particularly enjoyed flaunting his freedom, announcing that his parents trusted him by himself when they were absent. Occasionally, he even caught himself believing the lies he told everyone. That usually resulted in a bitter, savage wake-up call that he dreaded, yet accepted.

Because the truth was that Karma had anything but a happy childhood.

 _"I don't even know you anymore! Was my husband replaced with a stranger?!"_

 _"You're being ridiculous!"_

 _" **I'm**_ _being ridiculous?! **I'm**_ _being ridiculous?! When was the last time you smiled, or kissed me, or even hugged your sons? Do you think they_ enjoy _their father being distant?"_

 _"I'm doing this for them!"_

 _"You mean yourself! Ever since that boy-"_

 _ **CRASH**_

 _"Don't... bring him into this."_

Whenever his classmates discussed their families, Karma would smile, laugh at the right moments, and make sarcastic quips, all while pretending his heart wasn't being crushed inside his chest. His mask never slipped, never hinted to the envy and grief he felt inside his heart. He just nodded politely and responded with his own stories of family fun that existed only in his mind.

 _"What is wrong with you?! Don't you care about us anymore?"_

 _"Of course I do!"_

 _"Then why on **earth**_ _are you doing this to your son? You're so overbearing with him it's horrifying! You just keep pressuring him and pressuring him! He's just a **kid.** He's not supposed to be perfect!"_

 _"I'm teaching him to be strong."_

 _"You're teaching him to hate his father! You're teaching them **both**_ _to hate their father! The other day, Karma asked me why his father didn't love him. What was I supposed to tell him? That his father ignores him because he wants him to be independent? How is a seven year old supposed to understand that?"_

 _"He'll understand when he's older."_

 _"I don't want him to! I want him to know his father loves him!"_

 _"It's better this way!"_

 _"HOW?!"_

Karma's memories of the divorce were few and painful, like small shards of broken glass that burrowed deep inside his skin and left scars as a bitter reminder. He remembered the lawyers, his mother's tears, his father's stony face, but he mostly remembered the fear. Yes, Karma remembered the fear vividly.

 _"Nii-chan?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Will we still be brothers after this?"_

 _"Of course we will! I... I'll see you as much as I can, okay? Just because okaa-san and otou-san are separating doesn't mean we have to."_

 _"Promise?_

 _"... Yeah. I promise."_

 _"Nii-chan?"_

 _"What now?"_

 _"Does... does otou-san hate me?"_

 _"... Why are you asking that?"_

 _"Well, he fought really hard for you. So, that means he loves you, right?"_

 _"I guess."_

 _"But... he didn't even ask about me. Okaa-san said she was keeping me and he said okay. Does that mean he doesn't want me? Does that mean he hates me?"_

 _"I don't know, Karma."_

Karma liked to think his brother was telling the truth, and that he meant what he said. In the end, though, he really didn't know. It could be the truth, but it was most likely just another pretty lie Karma told himself to make the lump in his throat disappear.

Karma was very good at pretty lies.

Karma didn't see his brother again until three years after the divorce, but it seemed that three years was enough time to completely change a person. He wondered if he had changed as well. Did his brother see a different person when he looked at Karma, or was still just a small child hiding his weakness behind an immutable mask of self-assurance?

Karma was good at masks, too.

Of course, none of these things were ever mentioned when Karma described his family. Instead, he would laugh and smile and joke _and lie and lie and lie_ until even he wouldn't remember the truth anymore.

Because, out of everything, Karma was best at lying to himself.

 _"You love me, right?"_

 _"Yes, Karma."_

 _"Okay. I love you too, Gakushuu-nii."_

 ** _Nii-chan: Big brother_**

 ** _Okaa-san: Mother_**

 ** _Otou-san: Father_**


End file.
